A Good Man Is Hard to Find

One of the themes addressed in the story of ‘A Good Man Is Hard to Find’ is dysfunctionality within the family. The dysfunctionality existing within the family is indicated by several instances of parental neglect as it relates to the training of children to be respectful. Neither Bailey, the children’s father nor their mother ever rebuke John Wesley and June Star for their rude response or way of speaking to their grandmother. June Star’s ill-mannered response to Red Sammy’s wife, is only addressed by the grandmother. The children are also unconcerned about being polite regardless of who the interacting adult is, as is seen in the way John Wesley questions the Misfit about his gun and June Star’s rebellious response; "What are you telling us what to do for?", to the instructions of the Misfit about sitting in the corner. June Star further seems adamant on being insulting in the reason she provides for not wanting to hold Bobby Lee’s hand; "I don't want to hold hands with him . . . he reminds me of a pig."  Once, when Bailey attempts to quell the children’s fuss he shouts instructions which are not even directed to the defaulting children but spoken generally. For that matter, Bailey himself, seems quite disrespectful to his mom. He constantly ignores her, rebukes her harshly, and shows no sympathy. Only but once does he speak to her as a loving son to a mother, "I'll be back in a minute, Mamma, wait on me!”

Many parents and guardians in our society today are faced with similar issues when it comes to the identification and curbing of unacceptable behavior. Several months ago I witnessed a child about eight years old throw a wrapper from a snack he was eating on to the ground. His mother was not very far from him, saw his actions and failed to rebuke him. I spoke up as a concerned adult, kindly asking him to pick the wrapper up at place it in the bin instead. His impolite and distasteful respond was, “no I’m not and you can’t make me”. To this his mother looked at me, smiled, shrugged her shoulders, pick the wrapped up and placed it in a nearby bin. I’m still in shock to this day. There is a line however thin, between assertive but respectful speech and disrespect and ill regards for seniority. Children are to be taught, aided by example, to express themselves in a manner that is polite. When children fail to express courtesy in their dealings with others, they should be scolded and encouraged to apologize and present the correct pattern of speech. They should be made to understand the power of words and how it impacts our life. Let children realize that what goes out of our mouth tells the world who we are; refined or unmannerly. It is not enough that parents be satisfied with the provision of the basic physical necessities of life but it behooves parents to instill morals.