One of the themes addressed in the story of ‘A
Good Man Is Hard to Find’ is dysfunctionality within the family. The
dysfunctionality existing within the family is indicated by several instances
of parental neglect as it relates to the training of children to be respectful.
Neither Bailey, the children’s father nor their mother ever rebuke John Wesley
and June Star for their rude response or way of speaking to their grandmother.
June Star’s ill-mannered response to Red Sammy’s wife, is only addressed by the
grandmother. The children are also unconcerned about being polite regardless of
who the interacting adult is, as is seen in the way John Wesley questions the
Misfit about his gun and June Star’s rebellious response; "What are you telling us what to do for?", to the instructions of the Misfit about
sitting in the corner. June Star further seems adamant on being insulting in
the reason she provides for not wanting to hold Bobby Lee’s hand; "I don't want to hold hands with him . . . he reminds me of a
pig." Once, when Bailey attempts to quell the
children’s fuss he shouts instructions which are not even directed to the
defaulting children but spoken generally. For that matter, Bailey himself,
seems quite disrespectful to his mom. He constantly ignores her, rebukes her
harshly, and shows no sympathy. Only but once does he speak to her as a loving
son to a mother, "I'll be back in a
minute, Mamma, wait on me!”
Many parents and guardians in our society today are faced with
similar issues when it comes to the identification and curbing of unacceptable
behavior. Several months ago I witnessed a child about eight years old throw a
wrapper from a snack he was eating on to the ground. His mother was not very
far from him, saw his actions and failed to rebuke him. I spoke up as a
concerned adult, kindly asking him to pick the wrapper up at place it in the
bin instead. His impolite and distasteful respond was, “no I’m not and you
can’t make me”. To this his mother looked at me, smiled, shrugged her
shoulders, pick the wrapped up and placed it in a nearby bin. I’m still in
shock to this day. There is a line however thin, between assertive but
respectful speech and disrespect and ill regards for seniority. Children are to
be taught, aided by example, to express themselves in a manner that is polite.
When children fail to express courtesy in their dealings with others, they
should be scolded and encouraged to apologize and present the correct pattern
of speech. They should be made to understand the power of words and how it
impacts our life. Let children realize that what goes out of our mouth tells
the world who we are; refined or unmannerly. It is not enough that parents be
satisfied with the provision of the basic physical necessities of life but it
behooves parents to instill morals.
